Home
by greaserlove
Summary: Johnny Cade loved his parents, regardless of their lack of love in return. After all, they were his blood; he had to love them, right? Short story.
1. An Unfriendly Gathering

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, S.E Hinton does.**

-----x-----

"_Blast it, Johnny, what do they matter? Shoot, my old man don't give a hang whether I'm in jail or dead in a car wreck or drunk in the gutter. That don't bother me none."_

_Johnny didn't say anything. But he stared at the dashboard with such hurt bewilderment that I could have bawled._

-----x-----

"Johnny, do ya think ya could help me o'er here with these dishes? My friends are gonna be comin' over later to catch up on some gossip," Nancy Cade drawled. "Ya think ya could handle that?"

Johnny stood in the doorway with his head lowered. "Yes, mama." He headed to the kitchen and looked over to his mother who was pouring herself a drink from a fresh bottle of booze. He winced, looking at the bottle she had only started the day before, which was now empty on the counter. He didn't like her when she was drunk. She was never nice like when she was sober, asking him how his day was an' all.

Loud voices erupted from the door, and Nancy rushed over to greet her friends. "Ruth! I heard ya was cookin' a bun in the oven again! Do ya know if it was Bobby's, or was ya goin' round with one of those young boys again?"

"Good ta see ya, Nancy, dear! Why yes, boy, good news sure gits around fast. It was Bobby's, dun worry. Even the doctor said it had to be his, seein' as I hasn't been foolin' around fer a long time now. I gosta be on ma best behaviour now, and start actin' like a real wife." Ruth's cheeks flushed as she finally caught her breath and she walked over to the couch.

Another two women walked in, one talking quite loudly in a loud and repetitive way; always turning to see if the other girl was listening. The other girl was quieter, and would only join in to agree with whatever the rest of the women were saying.

Johnny began to fill up the sink with warm water, and then left the faucet running while he went to go retrieve the dirty dishes from the house.

"Johnny, could ya hurry up with those dishes? I feel terribly rude bein' the only one here with a drink in my hand," Nancy called, laughing. The other girls joined in, and then went back to their gossiping. The loud girl, Mary, grabbed Johnny's shirt sleeve as he walked by.

"Well ain't you just precious. Nancy, you look way too young to have a teenager all ready! Ya do good in school, boy? My boy says you's always quieter than the rest of the kids your age. Somethin' wrong with ya, boy?" She taunted, her painted lips smiling in a menacing way.

"Nah, he's just dumb, ain't that right, Johnnycake?" Nancy replied, her speech beginning to slur. Johnny averted his eyes from them.

"I do try, mama..."

"Sure ya do. Ya done as good as ya can, darlin', and ya'd be smart like me, if it weren't fer yer daddy's lack of intelligence," Nancy said, her voice hardening on the topic of her husband. Johnny winced, wishing his mother wouldn't drink so much and let her mouth run. It would only result in more trouble when his dad came home.

Johnny hurried over to the sink when he heard water splashing onto the floor, and hurriedly turned off the tap. He heard the women discussing him, and his heart sank as he realized that none of the comments were compliments. He scrubbed the dishes quickly, rinsed them, then left them in the sink to dry before running to his room.

"Boy doesn't even have the courtesy ta stick around and give me some company once an' awhile. Kid's just like his father..." The voice drawled from the living room, and Johnny closed his bedroom door to drone out their voices.

He pulled his homework for the night out of his school bag lying on the floor, and stared blankly at the sheets of paper. How his friend, Ponyboy Curtis, seemed to comprehend all of the gibberish the teachers rattled off and expected you to know everything about, he'd never know.

He sighed, his head starting to hurt, and headed over to his window. He listened for the voices, and was reassured by a big chorus of laughter from down the hall. He lifted it up, and then climbed out, closing the window half way behind him. He adjusted the collar of his jacket, and then began to head over to his safe house: The Curtises. His dad would be coming home only in a few more hours.


	2. Nancy

**Disclaimer: S.E Hinton owns the Outsiders, I do not.**

-----x-----

"Hey Johnnycakes, what're you doin' out here?" Ponyboy Curtis asked, sitting on the floor playing solitaire.

Johnny walked through the open doorway and sat down on the floor beside him.

"I just needed some time away, 'sall," he explained briefly, then looked down to the cards spread out on the floor. Ponyboy's brow furrowed in concentration, then moved around the cards in a complicated form that confused Johnny. "Where's Darry and Sodapop?"

Pony looked up from his game. "Soda's with Sandy and Darry's in the kitchen making dinner for the two of us. You like some too?" He asked, looking down at his cards before scooping them up and putting them back into the box.

"Nah, it's okay." Johnny replied, staring down at the floor. Pony stood up and walked into the bathroom, then shut the door behind him. Johnny sighed, and went to go lay on the couch. The atmosphere in the house always seemed so peaceful when most of the gang was out. He massages his temples in attempt to rid of his aching headache, then gave up to a sudden urge to sleep.

Johnny awoke to a hand on his forehead, and Darry leaning over him. He jumped, and his head began throbbing once more.

"Hey, kiddo, think it's time to go home?" Darry inquired, motioning his hand to a clock on the wall that read "11:23". Johnny's eyes widened and he sat up quickly.

"I'll go now, Darry. Thanks for havin' me over," Johnny said, trying to hide the pain from his voice. He stood up and jogged out the door, knowing he had to get home before his father got to his mother, but the sick feeling in his stomach told him that he'd gotten to her quite some time ago.

-----x-----

The house was quiet when he approached it, and he prayed that nothing happened after he left. He walked around the corner and pushed open his window, and climbed back in. He opened his bedroom door an inch, and peered out into the darkness.

"Johnny, is that you?" his mother called softly from her bedroom. He walked down the hall and opened her bedroom door. "Oh, Johnny, dear, yer father isn't home yet. Maybe he's workin' late at the factory or somethin', I dunno…Can ya come o'er here and give yer old mama a hug?"

Johnny felt tears sting his eyes, and he headed over to his mother and gripped her hand. "I'm here for you, mama. Don't you worry," he sighed, sitting down on the bed next to her.

Where his father was, he had no idea. He didn't usually work the graveyard shift, having worked from the break of dawn till after dinnertime. "G'night, mama. You go to sleep now, ya hear?"

Nancy nodded, and buried her head in her pillow. Johnny kissed her hand and stood up, surveying the disaster area that had become of her room. He picked up her clothes that were strewn across the floor, reeking of alcohol, and tossed them into a corner.

He left the room and closed the door, then headed to the living room, picking up the glasses that his mom and her friends had left lying around, and put them on the counter by the sink. He grabbed the two empty bottles that they had finished and threw them in the garbage, scrunching his noise from the strong scent of booze.

He quickly finished up tidying the room, and then dragged himself to his room, his eyes growing heavier by the second. He crawled under the blankets on his bed, and drifted off into an uneasy and dreamless sleep.

-----x-----

"What the hell were ya thinkin', woman? We can't afford yer little cravings for booze all the time! Do ya think I'm workin' a high class-type job where ya can have all the money in the world from only a day's work?" John Cade yelled, cussing under his breath.

"Oh, so now it's_ my_ fault that ya was drivin' me to drink?" Nancy shouted back.

"Yes, it was, as a matter of fact." John said in a rather smart aleck tone. "If ya'd have been a better wife, maybe I woulda given ya the attention ya deserved. But you ain't getting' nothing, bein' the poor excuse fer a wife you are!"

Nancy sobbed loudly as John's hand reached out to slap his hand across her face. She cried out and he hit her again, and the sound repeated as Johnny was awoken from his sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut to fight away the images in his head, and pulled his pillow over his head as he cried himself back to sleep.


	3. A Real Home

**Disclaimer: S.E Hinton owns the Outsiders, I do not.**

-----x-----

Johnny awoke once more, now to his father's hands gripped on his shoulders. His eyes squeezed shut as he felt the pain sink in from the fingers digging into his skin.

"Boy! Wake up!" John Cade demanded, shaking Johnny's shoulders. "Ya hear me? Get up!"

The grip on his shoulders loosed as Johnny sat up, and then was removed completely. He raised his hand to rub where his father's hands had been, and lightly skimmed over the bruising skin.

"Why don't ya talk, boy? Poor, sweet, Johnnycake, dumb as a doornail. Can't ya even say g'mornin' to yer daddy? Or is that too hard ta word together, boy?"

"G'mornin', dad," Johnny responded quietly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Good. Ain't as dumb as I thought ya was," his father smiled crookedly, and patted Johnny's head. "Now, can ya tell yer momma that I'm workin' late tonight? Thanks, kid."

Johnny lowered his head as his father left the room. He then got up and headed to the bathroom, and surveyed the damage.

Red handprints were left on his shoulders, the finger prints turning a mix of purple and yellow.

He turned on the shower, and dropped his clothes on the floor before stepping in.

The water rained down on him and licked at his wounds, and a stinging sensation rang through his body. Johnny usually fought back tears when his father mistreated him, but now he just accepted it as inevitability, not taking it to heart as much as before.

He rubbed soap over his body gingerly, wincing every time he reached a bruise. He turned the water down to cold and let it rinse away all of the pain to numb, and then hurriedly shut of the water to try and not run up the bill. He grabbed a towel from the floor and dried off, and then went back to his room to get dressed.

-----x-----

"Hey, Pony," Johnny said, walking alongside his friend in the hallway. Pony looked up and smiled.

"The lot?" Pony asked as they stepped out of the school, and Johnny nodded.

They started down the road in silence until they'd reached the lot, each absorbed in their own thoughts.

"I just don't know why my parents hate me so much," Johnny started. Ponyboy looked up at him sympathetically and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Johnnycake, everything will be alright," Pony said, his voice unconvincing. Johnny sighed, reviewing the past few days in his mind. "Your mom ignoring you again?"

Johnny stared down at the ground, and thought to answer with an "If only", but decided against it. He nodded, and Pony sighed, and then pulled out a cigarette for Johnny and himself. He flipped his lighter open and lit the two, and then handed Johnny his, who took a drag eagerly.

They sat quietly, a calmness falling over them.

"You really loved your folks, huh, Ponyboy?" Johnny asked quietly. Pony turned his head to him and smiled his eyes full of sadness.

"Yeah, Johnny, I did." Pony looked out at the sky, where the sun was slowly sinking. "I gotta go home now. I'll see you tomorrow," he said, and then started off down the street.

-----x-----

_Home: the place in which one's domestic affections is centered._

Johnny thought about his parents, tears stinging his eyes as he curled up on the soft grass, and squeezed his eyes shut.

They were supposed to love him, and he love them in return. They were supposed to take care of him, and instead he'd been born into taking care of them. They weren't his real family. He had a real family, a family who loved him, and cared for him, and did everything they could to protect him from the bad things in life.

No, The Cades were not his family, and that was not his home.

-----x-----

_A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Johnny," she said quietly, "your mother's here to see you."_

_Johnny opened his eyes. At first they were wide with surprise, then they darkened. "I don't want to see her," he said firmly._

"_She's your mother."_

"_I said I don't want to see her." His voice was rising. "She's probably come to tell me about all the trouble I'm causing her and about how glad her and the old man'll be when I'm dead. Well, tell her to leave me alone. For once"- his voice broke – "for once just to leave me alone."_

-----x-----

**Well, I hope you enjoyed this short insight of how I think Johnny lived his life, unsure whether he felt true love or obligation to his parents.**

**Let me know if you have any other ideas for stories you'd like to see written.**

**Keep the faith,**

**Laney.**


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